You hear it all the time: “It takes a village.”
It’s quoted in parenting books, blog posts, and well-meaning conversations. But what happens when you look around and realize you don’t have a village? Or worse — you’re not sure you’d even be welcomed in one?
Being a mom is hard. We know this. But being the mom who doesn’t fit in — that’s a different kind of hard. It’s the sting of walking into a room full of moms already deep in conversation and not knowing how to join. It’s standing awkwardly on the sidelines at the park or school pickup, wondering if you’ll ever be more than “that one mom who always looks kind of tired.” It’s watching friendships form and flourish while you stay on the outside, too different, too busy, or too unsure of how to make the first move.
Maybe you're the working mom surrounded by stay-at-home moms. Maybe you're parenting solo in a sea of picture-perfect couples. Maybe you’re neurodivergent, introverted, a little quirky — or maybe life has just hardened you in ways others can’t see. Whatever the reason, the result is the same: you feel othered. And it’s lonely.
What no one really tells you is how isolating motherhood can be when you don’t have your people. When the group chats don't include you. When no one’s bringing over coffee on a hard day or offering to grab your kid when you're running late. The emotional weight of being the “outsider mom” isn’t just sadness — it’s shame, self-doubt, and quiet heartbreak. You start to wonder if something’s wrong with you.
And still, you show up. For your kids. For your partner. For the never-ending responsibilities. You show up, even when it feels like no one shows up for you. That strength? That matters. That deserves to be seen.
Here’s the truth: the village isn’t always something you find — sometimes it’s something you build slowly, painfully, brick by brick. One kind gesture, one genuine connection, one brave conversation at a time. And yes, it might take longer for some of us. But that doesn’t mean we’re unworthy of community. It doesn’t mean we’re not good moms.
If you’re the mom who doesn’t fit in, know this — you’re not alone, even if it feels that way. There are others on the outskirts too, looking for someone just like you. Someone real. Someone honest. Someone who gets it.
Let’s start building a new kind of village — one that makes space for all of us.
Be sure to follow Macaroni Kid Weymouth-Canton-Quincy on social media to keep up with any playdates or mom meet ups, hosted by a mom who is looking for her village (just like you)
